One of my biggest struggles isn’t as a mom, but as a sister and a daughter and constituent part of my former life. It is is that inevitable and urgent desire as a new mom to begin creating my own family traditions, and break away a little bit from the old ones. I have felt so guilty for wanting to spend birthdays, anniversaries, Halloween, even this past Thanksgiving with my own little family of three and a few close friends. This time last year we were living in Southern California, away from my family, friends and anything familiar. While the distance from my loved ones and my feelings of isolation were rough to say the least, I felt that my little family of three really came together and became, well, a family…I had cooked my very first Thanksgiving dinner, and it rocked. We had all the trimmings, with some old family favorites but also many of my new dishes that will later become our family’s favorites. The fact that my son was old enough to remember that dinner and his West Coast holiday experience really marked the beginning of our own traditions, and it cemented my footprint as a mom, a wife and a woman. I love playing hostess and bringing people together, and making my home a home by filling it with people that I love. I want to enjoy this feeling of independence, but a part of me feels bad about it. I guess that’s life, having to let go of some things to make room for others. I feel as if a chapter in my book is closing, but with a few dog-eared pages of the past for nostalgic reference. It’s time for a new book, filled with blank pages, ready for some new ink…
It is not to say that I will never partake in any of my childhood traditions with my “old family” again, I am just really enjoying this time and the memories that are being born with every outing, photo, inside joke and moment. I feel that this is a very special time for my little family of three, and I am just taking it all in and savoring each delicious moment, one meal at a time.
I hope you all had a very happy Thanksgiving.