It’s perfectly clear to me that my son adores his dad. The cutest thing is when he asks my hubby to shave with him in the morning. He’ll take the time to prep a ‘fake’ razor for my son, help lather him up in shaving cream and the little guy proceeds to shave with Daddy. My son, after he’s finished, will run outside to find me and say, “look Mommy, I just shaved with Daddy. Now I smell just like him!” He’s so proud of himself. Even though it’s only lasts about five minutes, I’m know for sure that these are really precious moments for the both of them and I have no doubt whatsoever they will never forget them. Memories to last a lifetime.
Obviously, these are things that I can’t teach him. I’m not really good at shaving my face with really sharp objects and I wouldn’t even dare to try, as I’m super clumsy. I’m learning that I have to take a really deep breath and step back to allow for more breathing room between my ‘two boys.’ It’s very difficult for me personally, as it’s deeply ingrained in me to be a full-time, stay-at-home mom…which I’ll admit I got very good at for a while. But as I decided to finally return to work (after being a career girl my entire life), I realized that I shouldn’t feel guilty about my decision…that it was okay to miss playing ‘grown-up’ in the outside working world and finally decided to embrace the notion whole-heartedly.
But there is a downside to that. Becoming a bit of a control freak when it came to my son and his daily routine became a full-time job in and of itself. Between school, daily chores, extra-curricular activities outside of school, family obligations, playdates and making time to hang with my girlfriends (just to name an important few), all of a sudden became a daunting task to try and fit everything in. The stress of it all started to become a bit overwhelming when trying to fit work into this maddening equation. Also try to fit a partner or spouse into it all. A daunting task indeed.
This is where I truly luck out. My hubby has always been an amazing hands-on dad…always loving, always compassionate and forever patient with everyone, especially where the little guy is concerned. Takes him to football games, runs him around to weekly drum lessons and hangs out with him at karate. You know, boy stuff. But for me, it was kind of hard to relinquish my rights as a mom, even if it were only temporarily. Slowly, but surely I realized that my boy needed his dad…not because he simply wanted to be hang around with him, but because his dad could show him things and teach him stuff that I simply wasn’t equipped to do. As a woman and a mother, you feel almost invincible and indestructible at times. But this time around, I really wasn’t needed. How as a mom can you justify that?
I think it’s become pretty simple now, and I’m learning as I go. I’ve really adjusted to having more time to myself so I can get back into the swing of things that I perceive as normal, everyday life. I’ve learned that I don’t have to try and do everything for and by myself, if my husband is more than willing to pitch in and really doesn’t mind doing the simplest and mundane of things. Especially after breaking his ass for fourteen-hour days…every single day (and carrying weekend work too.)
I know, I know…this is a mom’s website. And I know that I should be writing about hard-core and fun-loving mommy stuff. But I feel the need to digress for just a little bit. I want to give a huge shout-out and give thanks to all the dads, partners and significant others out there from the Queens ‘cyberland’ world. They are a huge part of what we are all about and I know my family wouldn’t be complete without my son’s dad. Thanks guys…you rock!